Family, Then Fire: An Interview with INBAR LAVI

Photographer CAROLINE FISS @carolinefissphotography
Stylist LISA CERA @lisacstyles
Hair SHLOMI HILLEL @hairbyshlomi
Makeup EFRAT DELOYA @efrat_deloya
Production Coordinator CASSIDY COCKE @cassidy.ac
Photography Assistant BENNETT HENSE @bennett.hense
Fashion Intern AMEEN KHER
Intern CAROLINA ESPINOZA @caerolinea
Producer ANNA VOLKOVA @volkacreativespace
Location VOLKA CREATIVE SPACE @volkacreativespace

Words by Kimberly Haddad

The first thing you should know about Inbar Lavi: she’s disarmingly kind. Not Hollywood-nice—but actually gentle, curious, and a little innocent in the best way. Within minutes we were trading war stories about our first New York “apartments” that were really closets, and the kind of families where love looks like squeezing one more plate onto the table. That softness isn’t for show—it’s just who she is. Which makes it even wilder that she keeps choosing roles that ask for blood, bone, and everything in between.

This fall she stars in BAU: Artist at War (opposite Emile Hirsch), in theaters late September—a performance she calls her most emotionally brutal yet. Next up is the psychological thriller Stay With Me and—finally—a long-overdue flirtation with comedy. Away from the camera, she’s building House of Lavi, a soul-first label born of Tel Aviv sand and LA sun, and learning motherhood in real time. If you know her as Maddie from Imposters or Eve from Lucifer, good. Now meet the woman who can steal a scene and still hand you her heart on the way out.

You grew up in Israel with Moroccan roots. What was that experience like, and how do those layers of identity still show up in you today—especially in ways Hollywood might overlook?
I was born and raised in  Israel, which is very, very different from America—or anywhere else, really. I’m from a small town and had a simple life. I grew up very drawn to American cinema and television. It looked very glamorous, which was very different than what I was used to. That was my big draw. In terms of my identity, my head goes to shooting Prison Break, which had my Moroccan roots all over it. Then it continues on to Lucifer, with my character Eve being the first woman going all the way back to the beginning of time to Israel and walking the first earth. But in ways that Hollywood hasn’t seen— being Israeli, being Jewish, growing up in Israel and having my Moroccan elements and influence—I would say we are very family oriented. Family is number one. It is above all, and that’s something people don’t necessarily know about me. They don’t really know how big family is to me and how it really is the purpose of my life.

I love that. I’m Middle Eastern too—my family’s from Jordan— so I really relate. We live for family and those big, chaotic gatherings.
Yes! We live for family. We live for those meals around the table with our people. It’s everything.

When you first told your family you wanted to act, were they supportive—or skeptical?
I wasn’t really open about it. It was kind of a secret. I think I was embarrassed because acting seemed too crazy, like who did I think I was—Julia Roberts? Was I going to fly to New York and Spielberg was going to wait for me at the bottom of the plane? [laughs] It just seemed like a crazy concept. I was daydreaming about it secretly and saving as much money as I could to buy a flight ticket to New York. I was just going to figure out my way. When I told my mom, she thought I was crazy. She said it sounded like a child saying they wanted to become an astronaut. She didn’t know how to help make it happen, how to get me to the moon. My dad is a dreamer and my mom is a doctor. My mom is realistic, very feet-on-the-ground, while my dad was the one saying I could do whatever I wanted. He said they’d figure out a way. I think between the two of them, I had my mom’s doubt, which pushed me to prove it was possible, and my dad’s belief, which gave me the confidence. Between the two of them, I got everything I needed. I believe you need a little bit of doubt from society for you to push to prove yourself. That was my drive. And then I had my dad, who was like my cheerleader. They both kept me going. I am very grateful for both.

Moving to New York at 18 was huge. Do you remember that first night when you thought, what have I done—and how you got through it?
Absolutely! [laughs] I still have those moments every day. Oh my gosh, as you know, I grew up in Israel and it’s just like Jordan—very hot and very humid. We don’t really get snow. I landed in New York in February and the next day I took the subway and it was freezing cold. I was not at all prepared. It numbs you out. I remember everything in my body was in pain and in shock from how cold it was. I was sleeping in a not well-heated apartment, but it was the only thing I could afford at the time. It was a teeny-tiny walk-in closet in this guy’s apartment, and it wasn’t heated. It was snowing and just so cold. I had to put my feet in plastic bags on top of my socks to try to keep the cold out. I remember vividly tying the plastic bag around my feet and saying to myself, what the hell was I thinking? I must be out of my goddamn mind.

This takes me back—we basically lived the same life. I moved to New York at 24 and also lived in someone’s closet because I couldn’t afford anything else. Honestly, it’s crazy that this is considered normal! [laughs]
Oh my God! You did, really?

Yes. I was in a very small room in the back of the apartment with no windows. I would sleep on the couch in the living room a lot of the time because it was so depressing.
That is crazy! Did you come from Jordan?

No, I was born and raised in Los Angeles, but my parents came here from Jordan.

Oh, wow. I think New York is a culture shock to anyone from anywhere. It’s just a whole other experience. Good for you though. We made it! [laughs]

In BAU: Artist at War, you’ve said the role was emotionally challenging. Was there a moment the role got under your skin in a way you couldn’t shake off ?
This is a great question. It really did. This film was probably the most emotionally draining role I have ever played. I really didn’t feel right to do it any other way other than to just consistently try to live in the space the character lived. It was such a dark place to be in for so long. Thank God we only shot for two months and there was a lot of preparation ahead of time. When I’m on set, I try to create a light, be friendly, and engage with everyone, but in this particular situation, I isolated myself because I wanted to be in that dark space. To me, that was the only time in  my professional life  where I had done that. I barely remember interactions with people on set because of how isolated I was. I felt very alone and a little depressed even, which made sense for the story. But also, I was on a very strict diet at the time. I was only eating out of food cans. I had a can of tuna and a can of corn a day. That’s all I had and it was usually in the evening before bed. I wanted to try to get into the space and live in my character. At that time, if you had a can of tuna, that was royalty. They could go weeks starving. So, for me, deprivation was really important to try to understand. You can’t fake that. You can’t pretend to be hungry. There’s something that happens to your body when you are deprived of substance and food. That’s how I lived for two months. It was exhausting and very challenging. I remember wrapping the film and going out to a restaurant was a very strange situation to be in. It was so strange to me that people could sit around the table and have food brought to them—so much of it too— and have that ability, still knowing what others go through around the world. There are so many people, children, so many people starving everywhere. It was such a strange, out-of-body experience. It took me a long time to get back to normalcy.

“I wanted to try to get into the space and live in my character. At that time, if you had a can of tuna, that was royalty. They could go weeks starving. So, for me, deprivation was really important to try to understand. You can’t fake that. You can’t pretend to be hungry. There’s something that happens to your body when you are deprived of substance and food. That’s how I lived.”

Was it all worth it?
Absolutely. One of the honors of my work is to be able to expose and tell stories that aren’t necessarily being told, to give voices to all these human experiences that need to be shared in order to make a difference. What’s two months of hunger compared to what certain people in other parts of the world are experiencing?

I admire your strength in throwing yourself so deeply into those roles. But since you’ve been drawn to such layered, dark characters, what’s pulling you toward comedy now? Escape—or something more?
As an actress and artist, you want to try different things. At least for me, I love trying different things, I love pushing myself, pushing my limits, seeing what else I can do. I think those types of stark, juicy roles are always really fun and have a lot of meat to them. There is always so much you can do with them. But, if I’m being honest, my favorite genre to watch is comedy. When I come home at the end of the day, nine times out of 10, I choose to watch something funny because listen, life is already challenging enough. When I put something on, I prefer to have levity and laugh and be taken away. I have always been drawn to that. It just so happens that I have a lot more experience with dramatic roles. I am so happy to be able to do some comedy finally.

Psychological thrillers can be brutal—not just for audiences, but for the actor living in that headspace. What did Stay With Me  demand of you that caught you off guard?
I was in the beginning stages of my pregnancy when I got the part. I had never been pregnant while filming anything before. So, this being a thriller, there were a lot of scary moments and that was the biggest surprise for me. I had this human growing inside of me and I have to shoot this scene where I am screaming bloody murder—I can’t reveal too much—but it was a very scary instance to be alive, and you know, my daughter didn’t sign up for that. She wasn’t getting paid for that! [laughs] I didn’t want to put her through that and scar her for life. That was the biggest thing—really understanding the consequences of being a working mother and bringing your child to set. I don’t know what to call that, but it was definitely a first for me.

How do you know when a role has drained you emotionally—and what helps you refill the tank?
I tend to just be in my own bubble for a little bit and decompress. I won’t necessarily let people know I am back yet; I need at least a solid week, depending on the project, to just be alone. Maybe I’ll go to the beach, go on a hike, or immerse myself in nature. Sometimes writing helps me, or playing the piano, which is very therapeutic for me.

Motherhood didn’t come easy for you. What did that fight to become a mom reveal about you that nothing else ever has?

It taught me so much. It taught me that certain things are out of my hands and for the big things in life, you have to learn to let go. It also taught me that I can do so much more than I think I am capable of, things I never, ever thought I could do. It taught me to be a mother to myself before I could be a mother to anyone else.

Has becoming Ariel’s mom changed what you want to say through your work—or who you’re willing to be on screen?

I’m sure it did, but I haven’t felt it yet. I’ve been presented with certain roles lately that I haven’t felt like motherhood has changed whether or not I could do them. I have always been very clear with the type of roles and women I am attracted to. I know what excites me to portray, and that hasn’t necessarily changed. If anything, it reiterated the fact that I love strong, independent, and crazy women.

If Ariel came to you one day and said, “I want to be an actress,” what’s the unfiltered truth you’d tell her?

First, I would ask her why. I would invite her to explore why she is attracted to the field because I know the reasoning for me. There are some great reasons and there are some not great reasons, and I would want her to do anything she does for the right reasons. And then I would tell her, good luck. [laughs] I’d want her to do whatever makes her happy. I always ask myself if something is really making me happy or if I am doing it because I think it will make me happy.

Your brand, House of Lavi, is built on “soul.” What does that mean to you?

The brand started as a fun experiment to do something different and creative, and to give back. It just kind of turned into a brand and I am so grateful for that. I am stunned to be honest. I never in a million years thought I would be an owner of a brand. It still shocks me to this day. It means so much to me to have someone out there wearing something that we put so much heart and soul into. There have been a few times where I ran into people wearing my brand and it’s always astounding to me. I feel like I get to wrap my arms around them. Every time they wear a sweatshirt, it’s like I’m giving them a big hug. That was the purpose. It’s a way for me to be close to people around the world and have a community. It means a lot.

Acting, fashion, music—on the surface they’re different. But what’s the one thread that ties all your creative outlets together?
Art. It’s all a way to be creative and tell a story. It’s all magic to me. It’s a way to connect with my inner child who wants to paint with colors or sing a song, or be on a set and wear costumes, or move people and touch people’s hearts. It’s all art.

You’ve spoken about championing women’s voices. Do you see empowerment as something women eventually arrive at, or more of a daily practice you have to keep choosing?
I think it’s a little bit of both. Being a woman is hard. Being a man is also hard. We just do what we can, but it’s easier when we can support each other. There’s no doubt that women together are a force and I love having my women tribe who is always there to back me up and support me. I think it’s practice and sometimes, you just fall into it too. It’s all part of the journey.

If your daughter grows up and binge watches  Lucifer  or  Imposters, which scene do you secretly hope she skips?
Ah! [laughs] Oh my gosh—every sex scene I have ever had. If she could kindly fast forward or change the channel, that would be great.

What’s the last thing you googled that you probably wouldn’t want people to know about? And don’t lie!
Oh, God. The last thing I Googled is ridiculous.I Googled baby feet images because I was trying to take photos of my baby’s feet to keep as a souvenir for the future and they were coming out so bad. I had never been so less talented in taking a photo ever. And I consider myself good in that area. This was just not my expertise. Mommy’s phones aren’t sexy anymore. They’re all about babies, nipples, and diapers.

If you could steal one item from any character you’ve ever played, what would it be?
Maddie Johnson on Imposters had some thick, fancy coats I never got to keep. She also had this one dress by Alaïa that I would have loved to have kept, and so many beautiful coats.

If you could ghost one social obligation forever— without guilt—what would it be?
I would love to live in a world that doesn’t have social media. It’s just a huge part of our work and career these days. Maybe one day.

If you could describe you in one word right now, what would it be?
Tired.

BUY ISSUE 28